Tragic Love Story or Plain Stupidity?

You may not know this but I am a huge fan of movies.I  have seems a wide variety of movies from classics such as City Lights, Some Like It Hot, to others that will never be classics like Gigli. I watch movies with an open mind and form my own opinion of them, with that said I recently just watched Titanic with my fiancé and I must say we had to very different/competing points of view at the end. He saw it as a hopelessly romantic story of two young lovers willing to do anything for one another. While I saw the movie as she (Rose) stupidly jumped of the life boat causing Jack’s protective instinct to kick in. At the point the boat starts to sink at blazing speed, it is clear that Jack had the drive and will to survive. He overcame all obstacles, however when Rose decided she didn’t want to leave without him, all of his actions became about saving her. He became purely altruistic, he protected all at all cost. Even though she had the life vest he still held on to her and dragged her up after the ship completely sunk. Now after all of this, she does not alternate with him, taking turns on that piece of drift wood or door. In my point of view she hindered his survival. My fiancé however saw a beautiful love story in which to young lovers try to defy the odds and survive together, again the opposite of what I saw.  In short maybe Titanic is a love story, but to me all I saw were the flaws. It is not a movie that I can watch every time I come across it on my tv, it’s a movie that I have to mentally prepare for. Classics like The God Father, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, Modern Times and Dancing in the Rain I have enjoyed many times over no matter my current mood; sad to say Titanic is not one of them. What do you guys think about this amazing “love story” or “plain tragedy?”


“‘I Lived'”

“‘I Lived'”

These words are not my own,  I am only sharing them because I find them very inspirational. 

“‘Hope when you take that jump

You don’t feel the fall

Hope when the water rises

You built a wall

Hope when the crowd screams

They’re screaming your name

Hope if everybody runs

You choose to stay

Hope that you fall in love

And it hurts so bad

The only way you can know

You gave it all you had

And I hope that you don’t suffer

But take the pain

Hope when the moment comes, 

You’ll say

I, I, I

I did it all

I, I, I

I did it all

I owned every second that this world could give

I saw so many places, the things that I did

Yeah with every broken bone

I swear I lived'”

I lived by OneRepublic, I have no rights to this songs.

Shame on Me?

Shame on Me?

I am a black woman with natural hair, I have been natural for 1 year this month. Now yes I have gained a significant amount of weight in the last year, but I have notice and I am working on living a healthier lifestyle. Something happened to me yesterday in the most inappropriate of places and I feel I must share. I was at my wonderful bridal shower that my very lovely bridesmaids and maid of honor threw for me. I was literally over joyed for the entire party, my dress was cute, my hair was cute and I could not feel more blessed. Now someone whom I highly respected, who showed up 3 hours late to the shower, comes up to me and said and I quote “‘Sweetie I say this because I care, for the sake of your marriage, don’t gain anymore weight.'” To add to this his wife pulls my hair and said, again I quote “‘ look at her with all that hard hair on her head.'” I have never been so disrespected in my life, to make it worse they are a black couple. I was so speechless, I said nothing. Now can someone please tell me when being overweight became a pass for everyone to body shame you whenever they want? I don’t understand why people think it is okay to walk around and tell people how they should feel about their bodies. Those same people who do not see the hard work, that you put in to being a healthier you. To this disrespect I say; I will not buy into your nonsense, I will not buy into your idea of beauty, I will not let your hatred of yourself lead me to hate myself. I say to all those who hate my hair, who think I am fat, and ugly or whatever else, get in line because you will not break me. I was previously broken and I have rebuilt myself stronger. My nappy hair and I have growing together and there’s such an attraction there it can’t be overlooked. I am a better me everyday and that is all that matters. 

The Gendered Nature of Being Unencumbered

If you ask almost any woman what she would change about women’s clothes I promise you “pockets” would come up about 95% of the time (other answers: sizing consistency, for fuck’s sake; quality construction; larger sizes not just being a size 0 sized up). When I think about my closet I can name four items of […]

The Invisible Late-Night Knapsack.

Samantha Bee won Twitter yesterday. In case you missed it: Vanity Fair published an article titled “Why Late-Night TV Is Better Than Ever.” It features a slick, well-lit photograph of some of my favorite things: handsome, funny men wearing well-tailored suits. Former Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee had an amendment: I got into a debate about this […]

So you’ve graduated from college?

Yay you! It’s time to get a job, working 50/60 hours weeks at a rate that is slightly above minimum wage, at a job that is not even related to your degree, where you’re disrespected and completely under valued. Even though you kill yourself at this dead end job, you are just to barely able to pay your everyday bills. 5/6 months post graduation, your student loan payments are rolling in…unable to make a payment OH WELL. Now you need to get a part time job, just to make ends meet or you can  defer your loan payments (that interest though will continue to accrue, so that’s a bad idea). You’re so tired working two jobs that you can barely function, sleep you say, What is sleep? Sleep is for those who have the luxury of time and money, you can’t afford to sleep you have to keep going everyday.  One year post graduation now you have a better hold on things, you’ve finally have a work life balance, you’re starting to think to yourself maybe “I should go back to school, maybe a masters degree wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” Before you can be accepted into your program you have to take an entrance exam. So you ask your full time job for a part time schedule for a month or 2 but instead you’ve been fired, because there are 20 more fresh out of college students lined up to take your job, So now what?  Now; you have student loans, bills, life and a part time job. Does anyone care? Does anyone believe the amount of work you’ve put in? Nope! No one cares, you are now on a sinking ship, go ahead ask for help…no one came? oh well. Congratulations at least you have a college degree.