I am a black woman with natural hair, I have been natural for 1 year this month. Now yes I have gained a significant amount of weight in the last year, but I have notice and I am working on living a healthier lifestyle. Something happened to me yesterday in the most inappropriate of places and I feel I must share. I was at my wonderful bridal shower that my very lovely bridesmaids and maid of honor threw for me. I was literally over joyed for the entire party, my dress was cute, my hair was cute and I could not feel more blessed. Now someone whom I highly respected, who showed up 3 hours late to the shower, comes up to me and said and I quote “‘Sweetie I say this because I care, for the sake of your marriage, don’t gain anymore weight.'” To add to this his wife pulls my hair and said, again I quote “‘ look at her with all that hard hair on her head.'” I have never been so disrespected in my life, to make it worse they are a black couple. I was so speechless, I said nothing. Now can someone please tell me when being overweight became a pass for everyone to body shame you whenever they want? I don’t understand why people think it is okay to walk around and tell people how they should feel about their bodies. Those same people who do not see the hard work, that you put in to being a healthier you. To this disrespect I say; I will not buy into your nonsense, I will not buy into your idea of beauty, I will not let your hatred of yourself lead me to hate myself. I say to all those who hate my hair, who think I am fat, and ugly or whatever else, get in line because you will not break me. I was previously broken and I have rebuilt myself stronger. My nappy hair and I have growing together and there’s such an attraction there it can’t be overlooked. I am a better me everyday and that is all that matters. 


One thought on “Shame on Me?

  1. This is an excellent afirmation that who you are is enough! That couple was projecting on to you their issues. Let them keep them. This is the crap women have to endure daily. So glad you reject it. Thank you for being you, always.

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